sleepless nights and little snacks

My small snacks these day look something like a handful of almonds and water, lots and lots of water, warm water with lemon in the morning and water throughout the day.  I also may have a hard boiled egg in-between meals.  They are quick and easy.

 

I woke at 3:00 a.m. it seems to be the magic number.  I got up and instead of showering I just wiped down my legs with a wet rag. I wrote in my journal for a while.  I began to wonder why I wake up itchy at all hours and why it feels so good and so bad all at once to scratch them.  When I was little my dad used to tell me I had legs like tree trunks, thick and straight.  It’s kind of ironic now that my legs are rough with raised and calloused spots and they don’t really bleed anymore, instead they ooze a clear liquid that hardens like sap.  My legs have become trees,that’s how I feel sometimes and they are plenty hairy like a real natural woman because who wants to shave over all those uneven open spots? I can’t wait to shave again and wear skirts.  I’m half way there and in 3 weeks I’m going to buy a new dress as reward and I will wear the dress even if my legs are not well yet, I just will.

5 thoughts on “sleepless nights and little snacks

    1. You know my dad, always just saying things without much thought. I don’t even think he realizes the impact his words had on me growing up. If he did realize or does realize I know now he would take it all back if he could. But that little bit just stuck with me.

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