The history of my weight

The history of my weight the long and short of it.  The short of it….I have always thought I was fat even when I was 115 pounds in my high school days.

high school days

That’s Motorcycle man up there and me and my red mustang.  Loved that car. 

My young adult years were spent in the 120’s.

Scan 132000001

This is us with some really good friends back in the day, seeing them this Saturday in fact! Can’t wait.

By the time I married at age 23, I was 125 pounds, I felt strong and healthy although in my mind 125 was still not skinny.  My time was spent with Cindy Crawford and her workout tapes.  Probably my proudest picture below, on my honeymoon in my swim suit.  I do not expect to see 125 again, I’m not sure at this age 125 would even look healthy?

Scan 131990007

 I loved this bathing suit.

I quickly put on 15 pounds within the first year of my marriage.  I thought LOVE was southern, home cooked meals like mashed potatoes with gravy on top and fried chicken.  I bought lots of soda and boxes of ding dongs.  I felt being an adult I could bring in that junk food that I was not raised on.   I figured since I was an adult I could load up my cupboards and fridge with junky food, like it was one of the “perks” of being a grown up.  And still I was not fat by any means.  I seemed to maintain 145-150.

While I was raising the tiny kids I did lots of running around, carrying them around and hauling their things.  Somewhere along the way I crept into the 160’s but still active and always on the go.

child rearing

left/right Me 5 months pregnant with Aus, me a barely pregnant with Abbie and the last shot, I just love it’s me and Dyl (my now personal home health coach) 

In my mid 30’s I got tired of the weight in the 160’s, my feet hurt and I didn’t feel very good  I ate lots of red meat, I discovered rib eye!!  I love making homemade desserts, cooking and baking. In my world LOVE equals homemade food.  Because my feet were hurting and stuff I decided to join Weight Watchers, I lost my weight slow and steady and got down to 137 and maintained it only a few short years.  Then went right back to my old ways, soda, drive thru’s, red meat, cheesy bread, and lots and lots of homemade desserts. I have managed to maintain (if you want to call it that) 170’s.  However I will go up 10 or down 10 on rare occasions.  Up 10 when I’m completely not paying attention to myself or down 10 when I get all crazy and start extreme walking.  But for the most part a good solid 170 for the past 7 years.  I know my body frame is not meant to carry this amount of weight.  I’m 5’4″ and my bones are not very big, I have a small face and I often think my head looks sort of like a grape sitting atop someone else’s body.  below are some  non flattering pictures of myself.  The ones I would never show.  I hate full body shots and as some of you readers know, I have had eczema for the past 4 years and a high anxiety because of it.  Always picking and pulling away the scabs, it gives me a strange relief to pick at them.

now a days

 Just a bunch of none flattering pictures of me.  Yes, I have these skin issues, yes I’m over weight but I still like to enjoy life.

 I’m beginning to think that because I have not taken care of myself properly in the past 7 years that these toxins and skin problems have arrived.  Again, could be hormonal. I have gone to a list of doctors.  I do believe the smartest of all was the acupuncture doctor , he said in his broken English “toxins! toxins!”   He told me to lose weight! He wasn’t very nice about any of it.   I have been to  4 different Western medicine doctors, this acupuncturist, a homeopathic doctor, 2 dermatologist and a psychologist.  Nobody has been able to “cure” me.  I have been on a strictly veggie smoothie diet, I only lasted a think a week in a half on that one.  I did the Daniel fast for a period of 21 days where I also spent serious time with God in prayer and in study.  I have cut all sugar and ate only whole foods for about 6 weeks and the first few of those weeks I was a raving maniac.  NONE of these things I have been able to do for the long haul.  All these things feel and seem extreme in my world and not realistic as a life style.

I’m going to try herbalife for a while.  I’m thinking a life style out of this will not be a life long commitment either  but it will be something I can do for several months, taking vitamins and supplements to get my body healthy. A tool to use to reach my healthy weight.   I believe if I can get myself to a healthy weight that my health and skin issues will be resolved.  I could be wrong but it will be on the list of things I try.  I’m not going to stop trying things.  I know I’m not meant to live out my years like this.  I’m joining round 2 of FITCAMP which is free still and Dylan is exercising with me at home and is more than happy to be my in home health coach.

I will be posting updates here and also keeping it as a cooking, inspirational and even time to time guest spot space but in the meantime my head is into the FIT.  It’s where I need to be.

19 thoughts on “The history of my weight

  1. I agree with Andrea. Even in the pictures you deem unflattering, I think you’re so beautiful. Your smile and your zest for life are the things I notice first. I wish we could see ourselves how others see us. I fall into the same pitfalls as you and it stinks. I’ve tried different diets and finally decided to simply try and eat healthier, keep moving in some way and enjoy life along with a slice of chocolate cake if I want one. 🙂 love you. xo

    1. Mary, thank you very much. Your words mean a lot. I often wonder what it would be like if so many of us saw ourselves as we see others. It would be very nice and much more forgiving. I will for sure enjoy that slice of chocolate cake now and then. I sure love a nice slice of cake.

  2. This touched me in so many ways Tracie. I have been struggling with my weight the last few years, and I need to get back into exercising again. It really is what makes me feel the best. I generally fall back on weight watchers because that is a program I can always follow and does not all into any of the fad, lose weight diets that are never a lifestyle change that I can live with. I also have serious digestion issues that keep me from eating many foods. You are an inspiration.
    AND beautiful no matter what your weight. I know you will feel healthier as you get to a comfortable weight for you, but I never see anyone with a more happy, beautiful glow than you. 🙂
    Thank you for sharing this
    xx

  3. I love you at any size, diet and fitness level! I admire what you said at the end, that you will never stop trying things! That is inspirational!
    Lisa

  4. you are a brave warrior, an honest and open soul…bless you and your trials and tribulations, strength and trust to share this with us. I have been heavier for the past two years than i have ever been in my life. i struggle with it as I was always skinny…too skinny people would say, but i too always felt fat. I would be happy to drop about 10 pounds…and my way of doing that is to not eat…wrong! i have extremely low blood pressure…that combined with not eating is never a good thing. my boobs are bigger…i kinda like that…but the muffin top…well, that’s gotta go! and i know once the weight starts to drop…the bra size will too…what’s a girl to do! BIG LOVE to you pal xx

  5. my goodness tracie. your honesty, courage, perseverance. . . i am in awe. i agree with the others, the photos that you deem non-flattering are beautiful. they are YOU. and YOU are beautiful. thank you for loving life and inspiring us to do the same. xoxo.

  6. Tracie, this is just like me too. In so many pics and in so many of your feelings. But seriously lady, you are gorgeous in every pic. Love you to bits missy. 🙂 I am following your story closely.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s