This child of mine is a gift, all three of my children are gifts and ultimately they belong to God. We can teach them in the ways they “should” go but ultimately, just as we have been created with free will, so have they. I left Austin a note recently about our love for him and how we love him so much we have to let him make his own mistakes. It hasn’t been exactly easy so far and to be honest I see it getting more difficult before it gets better. He learned a big lesson when he had his first car accident and his insurance will be higher for three years, but with that came the privilege to rebuild the damaged car along-side his Dad and grandpa. It should be three full years of higher insurance rates but since his accident happened on the front end of our insurance renewal, it will be more like a 2-1/2 year increase for him. I find a blessing in this.
Watching him find his nitch in this life also isn’t so easy. I have to believe that God created things this way as lessons for us too. God I’m sure is continually frustrated with our choices when he knows how easy it can be if we just trust in Him. And with our children we know it could be so much easier if they just trusted us fully but that clearly is not happening with our first-born and I just keep praying that the day will arrive when his eyes are opened and he just comes back. He comes back to his roots. It’s a lesson in patience, it’s a lesson in trust. And lessons are hard, even for us adults. With each lesson comes growth and that’s also something to be thankful for. So as his mom, I can only hope he learns his lessons quick.
This video clip isn’t recent but since art is on my mind with the art walk just around the corner I wanted to share this piece with anyone interested in watching it. Austin had a particularly rough junior year in high school and in this video he had a homework assignment for history. I could see from the start to finish of the project his heart softened for the time being. It was a great thing to fully record and witness.