Today we had the privilege to attend church, to learn more and as it turns out to receive the perfect message of…..just enough. I have been struggling a lot lately with the fact that we do live a comfortable life, we have a home, we have children who are well, we have food, we even have extra’s like cell phones, satellite t.v, gaming devices, magazines, games, get the idea? Just as in earlier posts sometimes I feel guilty that we have it so comfortable that we can go out to dinner here or there and completely enjoy the fruits of our labor. But we don’t have tons of extra cash, we seem to just have enough for the things we need and even some things we want. This comes after sitting with the stack of bills that are still due this month and looking ahead into December. It looks like we will just have enough, enough of what we need and not necessarily all we want. Today in church we were reminded of how the Israelites’ were given just enough as they were in the wilderness/desert on their quest for the promised land. God provided for them exactly just the right amount of what they needed, nothing more, nothing less. Day by day He gave them just what would get them through that very day alone. (Exodus 16:11-30) tells a little bit of this story. I know in my heart all He wants is a trusting heart from me, not a doubting heart, not a heart that often complains about not having enough. I want MORE. I have to be honest I always seem to want more than what I’m graciously given. Being human is a blessing and a curse all at once. We were created to depend on Him and not on ourselves alone. It’s been this lesson so difficult for me to grasp. I’m the kind of person who doesn’t like to ask for help, I can do it all or so I think. And I think because of this outlook I miss out on lots. I know for sure that I love to help others and which in turn makes me feel just a little better because it feels right, it feels good to give and to help. So why not accept the help that may be offered instead of saying “no, I got this, thanks but no thanks” How about a “yes, thank you, I appreciate this and I also need it as it turns out” I’m going to practice that a little more too. Very confusing post maybe, I’m just rambling my mind as I think the thoughts.
So today as I began to feel sorry for myself for not having over abundance, I walked into the garden to see motorcycle man so happy that he had the yard looking good and he began to help me clear the dead spring garden as he kissed my lips and seemed completely content in the NOW. Then I tossed out the dead flowers that were gifted to me by Miss Moon Daisy and I find three rocks in the bottom of the jar, two in the shape of a heart and one that actually read LOVE and this discovery had me feeling very loved. Then my first to be born walks in and declares “I’m home from makin the bacon!” and comes over to his mama….(ME) and gives me a kiss on the cheek and the biggest hug ever and this makes me feel so very loved and also thankful. The sound I hear as I type this is motorcycle man playing his guitar and this sound gives me a feeling of peace and I know I’m exactly where I need to be. I’m in a loving, happy family who has just enough.