the artist

aus mefavorite photo from our coffee date

I have three children.  I love them all dearly.  That’s what mom’s do; they make each one feel that they are the best thing since sliced bread.   Us mom’s also know that all our kids are so different from one another and really, that trips me out so much even still.  How on earth can they all be so very different from each other?  They all have their own styles, they all like their different music, they all have different interests and I know, I know we are not supposed to put labels on people but I remain firm in the fact that I have three A’s.  Austin the Artist, Dylan (why I didn’t name him an A name remains a mystery….much like him) Dylan the Athlete and Abbie the Actress.

PicMonkey Collage

On this day my artist son agreed to have coffee with me.  It was a HOT Sunday so our drinks ended up being iced but still we talked just a little.  Not a whole lot. Just a little.  He used to be my big talker, he talked about so much, mostly if you want to know the entire truth, if he wasn’t talking he was auguring with me about something. Trying to make his point.  I would joke with him at a young age…”you will be my attorney” He had to win and he had a reason for all things.  He still does, only he doesn’t talk as much.

I worry about him.  I can tell his life is one big question mark right now.  He struggles with his future plans, he feels like he is climbing the biggest mountain ever.  He feels lost.  It’s hard to watch.  I want to keep telling him that we all had those feelings at his age but I honestly think it’s far more difficult for his generation.  It’s like there is this big, huge pressure to attend college for all these kids and you know what?  College is NOT for everyone.  What happened to all our trades taught in high school (it’s getting less and less) some kids are good with their hands, others creative.  Not all are academic and college bound.  We still need artists, we still need people who master crafts such as iron, wood, we need bakers, and we need chefs.  I just wish I could snap my fingers and take his anxiety away.  I know he must get through this.  So I’m here.  I’m here to support him, I’m here to love him, and I’m here to accept what he decides to do with his life.  I just worry.  I think that part is normal.

I like how even though we didn’t talk much, we laughed a lot, a whole lot and I love how he taught me new things, like “hey mom, you want to dip after I finish my tea?”  I was like “dip what?” He laughed and said “this is a common phrase you know” “No, I don’t know”  “I thought maybe you were talking about Tabaco or jumping in pool or something” He explained to me, it means to leave.  You know like real quick like.  The word I know for that would be let’s split, but the kids these days say let’s dip.  So he taught me that and I taught him about my hipsta app and I was shaking it all up and he was so confused about all that.  Each filter he hated and with each picture he would say, “mom you are lowering my self-esteem with each picture you take” Then we would laugh so hard!  The date came to an end and I know my request was unreasonable but I had to ask it anyway.  I asked him to promise me these things, to be good, to stay alive and stay golden” He said he couldn’t promise any of it.  He also said he didn’t even know what I meant when I said to stay golden.  I later texted him to tell him, he will always have a good heart so that good part is covered.

8 thoughts on “the artist

  1. Oh how totally awesome! I love little moments like that, and what a great parent you are that you seek out and have those moments with your kids! I can’t imagine all of the pressure that is on our kids at any given moment,and I think it’s wonderful that you are there for them, and I sense they can tell that you are, too!

  2. Your mama self always makes me smile so big, Tracie. You hear your kids. You really, really listen. No greater love, in my books. To really listen to them. To love the “them” of them. The inside they are. Beautiful. Going to bed now happy to have read this.

  3. I tried 3 times to respond to this yesterday and kept getting interrupted. Darn you work! I love that the 2 of you took the time together and laughed and talked. Even though the talk may not have been a lot, I bet the words were worth it. We do the best we can by being there form them and loving them. And you do that so very well. You are a great MOM. They know that and they will always come back to that. Isn’t if funny that he said you were lowering his self esteem but he let you do your photos anyway… He loves you. xo

  4. I love this…I have three daughters and am also amazed how different they are from each other!

    They are also struggling to find their place in the world.

    Another way that I find we (you and I) are cosmic twins.

    You are a great mom, BTW – and your children know that! Hugs! xoxo

      1. I’m getting to know it! 🙂 It has been so cold this winter that I haven’t been out much…the cold is hard on the electronics and your fingers too! It is finally getting warmer here…so I will be out much more.

        However, I am going to try to share this link see below (let me know if it works) It is one shot of my March Foto club assignment, that I took especially for you:

      2. Woo Hoo!!!!! I am not the most technical person, so I am pretty ‘stoked’, as my girls say!

        The topic was Still Life and I had a blast – I will be blogging the rest after my club meeting at the beginning of April, but really wanted to share this particular one with you…

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