just love

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When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves.

–William Arthur Ward

Mr. Ward has some wise words again. It sounds easy enough but I personally find myself at times picking others apart. That’s not easy to write. It makes me sound like a not so nice person.

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However for example there are a few people in my life that I allow to make me feel very imperfect and sometimes their words get me in an uproar. I will think/say “who are they to tell me how I should live?” and “where do they get off?” And after that comes judgment. I may begin to pick them apart since they so easily picked me apart. I will say to myself and more dangerously out loud to others (in hopes to get them to side with me of course) “so and so said this to me, can you believe that?” “I mean really, they don’t even do this or that and they are basically sort of hypocritical and so on and so forth” and then what happens? Well, I begin to feel awful. I begin to feel guilty and I just really want to ask for forgiveness because by judging and complaining and speaking out loud without action is just as bad as what they did to me. So I’m learning. Still learning and it’s not easy and I’m not confrontational by nature. So I say nothing and instead let it brew until I turn black inside. It’s not good for me, it’s not good for them. The best thing really is to separate, step away from anyone or anything that brings you down. Instead gather with those who lift you up, and in return you will lift them up. It’s easy to find the best in them and bring out the best in ourselves if together we just love. We have the control of who we surround ourselves with. Some people think it’s LOVE to tell you what you are doing wrong. I believe that should be left up to God. I answer to Him and nobody else. So my advice to myself…is to just love, and walk away from the negative environments. It’s up to me. Do I stay and feel horrible or do I walk away and just love?

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10 thoughts on “just love

  1. Yes! I took be a long time to learn that I am not the Jerk Whisperer… I do not need to stay around the negativity! You, my friend, are easy to love!

  2. I was asked to lead the monthly bible study this month as a favor, and it could be on anything I wanted. So, I decided to share my struggles of judging myself and comparing myself to others, and how I take away my own joy when I start comparing myself to other – either with the “she is skinnier” “she is a better mom” OR “I can’t believe they said that about me? Have you seen them do xyz?”. That’s what I’ve been working on – well for over a year – not comparing myself to others. Giving it over to God and holding myself accountable to Him. I’d have to loo, them up, but Galatians 1:10 and 2:20 come to mind (I remember them because of the symmetry!).

    So, the point is – you aren’t the only one that struggles with that, I’m in the same boat! It hasn’t been easy for me, but I’m sure you’ll breeze right through this life lesson (because I’m sitting here comparing my battle with yours and just knowing that you are better than me and will win!!) (See, I told you it was hard for me!!) (LOL) .

    1. I love how alike we are and that we can share similar struggles and the cool part is, you are not only connecting with me over here on the West Coast but you are also connecting the gals in your study. I’m sure they totally love your honesty and it helps them to feel much better about their personal struggles too. Oh man, I’m so guilty of comparing myself with others as well. I’m so happy we believe in the same God and have the same mission.

      Galations 1:10 NIV Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

      Galations 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

      I looked them and wanted to add them. They are perfectly awesome.

  3. I think this is one of my favorite posts! I saw it in perfect timing. My son has been having behavior problems at school and I’ve been tempted to pick him apart. That quote is great as well. I’m going to go find the best in him right now…ugh!

  4. This is a constant struggle for me. To the extent that my therapist has told me I need to stop being “pissy” (her word) about it and let it all go. Easier said than done it would seem. Thanks for sharing your struggle, I know I’m in good company as I try to let go and live.

  5. Oh Tracie, Tracie, Tracie…. you are not alone my friend. I do this all the time and then feel sick with guilt after. You’ve put it perfectly about holding it in and letting it brew. Why do we do this? Grrrr…..
    You are so right in that we HAVE to love! End of story. Love you and big hugs to you. xoxo

  6. Why is it that this is such a common problem for us? I struggle daily with comparing myself to others, have done so in fact since I was a kid (talk about holding grudges and judging)! This just maybe something that we will have to conquer as part of growing up (because aren’t we all just little kids still? Just because I’m grey haired doesn’t mean that I’m Old, heaven forbid)! So, to echo everyone else above, you are not alone in this. : )

  7. Yes, you and I are on the same page. Wish we were closer so we could talk. It is something I struggle with. There are people who really bring out the bad in me, and I need to just step away. Be kind, but step away. Wonderful post sweet you!xoxo

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