Update, can’t think of anything more creative to say than…UPDATE

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And day after day, I wake up feeling

Day after day, I wake up feeling, feeling

Potentially lovely

Perpetually human

Suspended and open




Open up

Your eyes

And then…

_Regina Spektor

And what happened in May?  Lots of really beautiful and good things happened in May it was a month of surprises and happy days, love an abundance of it.  Food.  Lots of food.  Celebrations, trips to the moon.  Yes.  It was all these things and guess what happened to me?  I felt joy, I felt sadness, I felt light, I felt darkness, I walked and walked and danced, I toasted, I hugged, I kissed, I held tight, I let go.  May was full, it was “chalk” full.  Later I can share the 24 hour get-a-way and other nice things but today it’s time for the update.  I really want to call it dreaded update but that’s sort of being negative when really all I am is human.  I gained 4 pounds.  That happened.  And it’s okay.  He loves me anyway.  He will always love me anyway.  I’m blessed but I still want to be strong, healthy and clear minded so although I have “fallen”  it doesn’t mean I can’t dust myself off.  So please reach for my hand, pull me up, kiss my cheek and tell me it’s okay.  It’s all going to be okay.  I have new days ahead of me.  No more looking back.  It’s over, that part is over.  Because although I gained 4 pounds, I watched a beautiful couple wed, I got news of a baby being born, I celebrated another year, I was acknowledged as a good mama, I celebrated LOVE with my love and mostly the month was good, better than good.  So let’s focus on that shall we!!  Yes we shall!  In the end what will matter?  Will it be the number on the scale or will it be how often you laughed, how much you really felt, truly, truly felt.  I’m OPEN, yes I’m open sometimes too much, sometimes it scares people but if it does that’s okay too, it means they are not ready to be my friend.

6 thoughts on “Update, can’t think of anything more creative to say than…UPDATE

  1. This was beautiful. And what’s 4 pounds? So what? I have to constantly keep reminding myself that it’s a day to day process..baby steps. You can’t beat yourself up over the little things when there’s so much life to be living. You’re lovely!!

  2. What a great month! And, the weight fluctuation happens, that is why you are making lifestyle changes – you are making changes that fit into your life, your surprise get-aways, your special functions, you are making changes for a life, not for a month! I’m so proud of you and all you have done! I’m sending you virtual hugs and a hand to help pull you up – but I’ll save the dusting off for Motorcycle Man, cause, uh, I tend to get frisky!

  3. Hello Beautiful One,
    “Close your eyes & ill kiss you
    Tomorow ill miss you
    Remember ill always be true
    And then while im away ill write home everyday
    And ill send all my loving to you ”
    You are my hero always Xoxo

  4. There really needs to be a LOVE button on here, not just a like button!! You have a beautiful life and I love how you embrace it all. The good and the bad. And that 4 pounds.. I’m pretty sure that might just be all the love you find and carry around for everyone. Xo

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