I am human

weedYesterday was just one of those days. I’m sure we all have them, we must because after all we are all human. It was one of those days where my energy was low. I felt like a 2 ton elephant (like I know what that really feels like!) but I felt heavy, not just physically sluggish but mentally too.   I had received a handful of terrible news over the past few days and some of it was sad, some of it was bad and although I received the news knowing I would lift the requests up to God. I also somehow held on to the request. I held them tight. I worried about them, I felt sad in regards to them and then all I wished for is that I could fix the sad or bad situations. But I’m human so I could not.

SOME DAYSAnd yesterday I thought my answer may have been a large slice of chocolate cake, it’s what I wanted. I just wanted to order the best cake I could find and sit with a warm cup of creamy coffee and take bites of that cake, I would close my eyes and taste all the chocolate goodness and sugar in my mouth and I would smell the coco and I would really, really enjoy that cake. You know sort of get lost in it for a few minutes and it would just be me and the cake and no other thoughts would be in my head except for how good that cake tasted. Okay so I’m an emotional eater. Did you pick up on that?

However I didn’t find the best cake I could find. I came home to a package in the mail. A dear friend had sent me feathers. Not just a literal darling cute blue feather but also a feather to wear around my wrist. I felt loved and cared for.

I went on with my motherly duties, I picked up my children, I took my littlest and only girl to find new jeans and a new book to read for her AR reading and then I came home and just sort of laid on the bed for a few minutes with motorcycle man and the coolest cat on the planet, Mr. Garfunkel. I complained how I was working so hard and my pants still felt tight, I complained that I was tired, I complained that I just couldn’t’ seem to do all the things I wanted to do.

meditationWe went to Sprouts. We got all the fruits and veggies we were out of. We walked around with our free tiny cup of coffee. And when we got home it was already getting late, so I made a simple sandwich with my good bread, meat and mustard. I ate a handful of nuts and I drank a big glass of water. Then me and the littlest and only girl went on a 30 minute walk. She told me all about her day and her classes at school. And how art is her favorite because it’s relaxing. That part of my day was special. I got home to a text from someone I love who said they were praying for me. I know their prayer is what helped me get through the day. I felt totally loved and cared for. And even in my not so good days. I know I’m totally loved and cared for. I’m blessed. I don’t want to take that for granted but on my off days I feel guilty for even complaining when life is really so wonderful. It’s a gift. Yet I realize I’m human and this just happens sometimes and it happens for a reason. I need to accept this.

peace and lightI woke this morning to a scripture, it was like God was tapping my shoulder, “Hey beautiful child, just as you love your children with all your heart soul and mind, I love you even more than that if you can imagine!” “I love you so much sweet and dear child of mine that I take your burdens for you, I carry them so you don’t have to” And this is the scripture I was given this morning Psalm 68:19 Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who DAILY bears our burdens. So why then do I try and take on these burdens myself? As if I can save the world. I can’t save the world….only HE can. And sometimes I have not so good days so I can be reminded of this.  So not so good days sometimes are a part of our lives so we can be reminded of just how blessed and just how loved and totally cared for we really are.

bed sheets

6 thoughts on “I am human

  1. Beautiful writing and gorgeous pictures. I’m sorry you are struggling, but I’m glad that you found the love in the day. I, too, am guilty of handing things over to God, only to take them back so I can worry with them more – and I’ll pass it back and forth more than I should – I’m working on it. But, the other day, it was a huge struggle, a friend of mine acted in a manner that was not friendly at all, and I was trying not to be devastated – and all I could do was run to the Lord and give it all to Him and let His love fill the emptiness I was filling. So, I hope that today you really feel His love and blessings resting around your shoulders and heart.

  2. Oh my, such brave words you share with us. You remind me that everyone struggles and that giving it up to God is not always easy, but is what we need to practice. Feeling cared for and loved are so important. So glad I found you! xoxo

  3. Beautiful words from a beautiful heart. Isn’t it magic when the right scripture finds you just at the right time? And it sounds like you have a loving, supportive team behind you to get through any hard times/days that may come 🙂 So sorry to hear that you’ve been receiving bad news lately… hoping the days get easier soon!

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