That’s all I had to ponder really were those two words. “Just Start” because of course I’m realizing my husband can’t do it for me, my famiy can’t do it for me, not even the most encouraging of friends can do it for me. I have to be intentional and do it myself.
I’m working on letting the perfection go. That’s the hardest part of all. I have read many books about the subject. I joke that I have read so many self help books I should be one amazing human being but reading and doing are two seperate notions. My last post brought in some encourement from friends. It connected me with Linda again who wrote me the most lovely note and she encouraged me to never give up on my blogging and some of the other stuff I do. There are times when I wonder. I wonder why I blog? What’s my purpose? I know I don’t speak much in the normal way that people do. I’m really very quiet but the words, there are many in my head so if I don’t speak them out then writing is the second best thing.
I don’t want to give up on my blog. I really don’t know it’s exact purpose. I do know it has connected me with new friends. I do know that people will tell me upon running into them that they read my blog, that it’s really honest and I’m so transparent that it’s partly what they like about it. Sometimes I’m completley amazed when I run into someone and they will bring up my blog and I wasn’t even aware they knew it existed. That’s always a good feeling. So I’m not going to give it up but sometimes I feel like it. I can write these words in a private journal. But I choose to share them here in the world. I really love to share my pictures. I like to let people know that being grateful is something that makes life really amazing. That slowing down to breathe in the air, to watch the trees sway in the wind and the clouds shift through the sky and birds the way they fly free and sing. When I take all this in all I can do is think about how completely mind blowing it all is. How He created all of these amazing things. On the other hand when I see a movie like American Sniper and I see how terrible other countries have it and the hate and the violance. It makes me very sad and honestly I have a hard time comprehending all of that too.
This is one of those blogs where I go from one subject to the next. But back to “Just Start” I’m slowly back to treating my body with respect. My legs are probably the worst they have been in a very long time. That part can kind of get me. But knowing that I’m drinking more water, that I’m getting out to walk a little. These are all steps in the right direction. In doing so I find treasures, like abanded feathers that remind me that God loves me. It’s like the hearts, God’s little calling cards. He cares about all things. We have some blessings that have happened recently. A baby boy was born in the wee hours this morning, healthy and beautiful, a friend of mine is living her authentic life and doing what her heart was made for, I recieved the sweetest handprints from our sponsored child today, those little hands touched my heart. I also recieved a gift in the mail from one of my Aunts who thought of me and blessed my heart today so much I wanted to do cartwheels. I have so much to be thankful for, it overwhelms me at times. So this I’m trying to absord.
I leave you with a Sunday video if you choose to watch. The secret code word is always