I’m back – Now Let’s Do This!

Be kind to yourself, be patient, you will find your answers. Love who you are right now—even if right now isn’t a place you want to be—you will always be you—start to appreciate yourself! You will feel so much better! And do not compare yourself to others. You are on your own special road. Be well my fellow travelers and know your path is a good one.”  –LINDA SILVA PALLESCHI-

Hello friends and family!  I’m back.  I’m back on the healthy train.  You see I can be totally honest here because why not!  On January 1st I proclaimed good and balanced health!  My feet were hurting, I was struggling with depression and had lazy syndrome.  So I began to drink more water, walk more and cut out some of the crap.  I wasn’t trying to be a super model or anything (clearly that is not the case) But I was trying to get my feet to stop hurting and my mood to improve and my life style to reflect a healthy example for my one and only girl.  However I know I’m not alone in the struggles to KEEP IT UP. I think I lasted until around my birthday which is in May.  And mind you the weight coming off wasn’t a huge amount during that time.  I started at 180 and I got down to 170 or so.  So it took me nearly half a year to lose just 10 pounds but it felt like more because I was walking with intention and my inches went down and I began to feel better and I didn’t want to come home each day from work and sit in my dark room, or lay on my bed and do NOTHING.  Because folks this is what I often do.  I come home, feel overwhelmed and just go into my bedroom and lay on the bed, close my eyes and try to ignore my to-do-list.  Then about the time motorcycle man is ready to come home I may hop up, make our bed, vacuum some floors and do the dishes.  Then make all sorts of excuses as to why I feel like NOT walking.

Last week my friend Shauna texted me.  “Do you want to join the Body, Mind and Spirit Challenge?”  She had done this once already with great success and said it was really easy because it was real life stuff and not only did her challenge include making better food choices it included a spiritual aspect, spending time in the word with prayer and meditation it also included paying it forward in a sense, doing good deeds for strangers and of course daily exercise.   All the good stuff she did added up to points so she had a goal to acquire her points each day, she was on a team and didn’t want to let the team down but in doing this challenge she realized it made a huge difference in her life.  She is no longer in a size 10 pants and she figured out how to squeeze in exercise to feel better.  She will be handing those down to me when I get out of my size 12 which I’m totally excited to get some jeans out of this deal.

Actually in the images I’m about to share I’m wearing my size 10 pants, which I can zip up AND button but I should not be wearing in public.  They don’t quite look so great nor do they feel that great.  But I decided I would wear them for all my pictures.  You know when your pants get tight and they sort of begin to flood up.  This is how I feel in these pants,  plus because they are sort of low-rise, my butt crack easily shows when I sit down and my muffin top spills out over the top…DOES NOT FEEL GOOD.

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I’m not embraced to say I’m starting today at 177, my hips are a nice curvy 43-1/2″  my waist is 37-1/2″ my bust which seems so dang busty is at 41″  I was always really flat growing up and even when I got married had to pad my bra so after kids they bursted into melons and wow, it’s just a trip because I never ever thought they would get like this.  For me they seem big.  okay so onto the right arm at 12″ and the right thigh at 22″.  And when I look at these pictures I’m about to share again I actually don’t  think I look so bad.  However I have that little depression back and the lazy syndrome but my feet don’t hurt anymore so that’s good.  Plus the muffin top, that just feels uncomfortable in clothes.  It makes it so I don’t even want to try clothes on actually.

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IMG_7913I always feel such great support and cheer from the readers of my blog.  I thrive on community and encouragement from people.  It’s just how I seem to do best.  So this challenge seems like a right fit, a good life style.  It’s for 8 weeks and we will see if my body transforms in that time.  My biggest hope is that my spirit improves that I will be more productive in my life after work and not so lazy.  Plus constantly striving to be a better example to my girl and in lots of ways in her speech at least I feel some of it sinks in when she uses words like, “I just want to be healthy” or when she draws pictures of us together and writes the words “walking together miles and miles to get healthy”  Which reminds me, our shared blog Life in the 7 Cea’s has also taken a back seat.  Maybe we can rev that up again too.

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I know this is so much to read and sorry about that but I will finish with this.  Today I feel empowered because although I can beat myself up over and over about how I have failed so many times, there will never be success unless I just keep trying again and again again.  Never give up.  So I try and I don’t give up and that is when battles are won and success begins to happen.  Because it WILL happen if we just keep at it.  I know so many of you women can agree with me and are nodding your heads up and down.  And if you feel like reading more please visit Mortal Muses Guest Spot with my friend LINDA SILVA PALLESCHI    post about a really neat lady I have been gifted to know through photographs and personal email exchanges and I admire her greatly and when I read her truth I’m also inspired because I feel just like her about myself.  Just like her!

Update, can’t think of anything more creative to say than…UPDATE

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And day after day, I wake up feeling

Day after day, I wake up feeling, feeling

Potentially lovely

Perpetually human

Suspended and open

Open

Open

Open

Open up

Your eyes

And then…

_Regina Spektor

And what happened in May?  Lots of really beautiful and good things happened in May it was a month of surprises and happy days, love an abundance of it.  Food.  Lots of food.  Celebrations, trips to the moon.  Yes.  It was all these things and guess what happened to me?  I felt joy, I felt sadness, I felt light, I felt darkness, I walked and walked and danced, I toasted, I hugged, I kissed, I held tight, I let go.  May was full, it was “chalk” full.  Later I can share the 24 hour get-a-way and other nice things but today it’s time for the update.  I really want to call it dreaded update but that’s sort of being negative when really all I am is human.  I gained 4 pounds.  That happened.  And it’s okay.  He loves me anyway.  He will always love me anyway.  I’m blessed but I still want to be strong, healthy and clear minded so although I have “fallen”  it doesn’t mean I can’t dust myself off.  So please reach for my hand, pull me up, kiss my cheek and tell me it’s okay.  It’s all going to be okay.  I have new days ahead of me.  No more looking back.  It’s over, that part is over.  Because although I gained 4 pounds, I watched a beautiful couple wed, I got news of a baby being born, I celebrated another year, I was acknowledged as a good mama, I celebrated LOVE with my love and mostly the month was good, better than good.  So let’s focus on that shall we!!  Yes we shall!  In the end what will matter?  Will it be the number on the scale or will it be how often you laughed, how much you really felt, truly, truly felt.  I’m OPEN, yes I’m open sometimes too much, sometimes it scares people but if it does that’s okay too, it means they are not ready to be my friend.

preparing for the week ahead

A wise woman once told me this,” we don’t plan to fail just fail to plan”  and it couldn’t be more true.  It’s not easy either when it comes to planning, maybe even more difficult for us mom’s raising a family, when our first instinct is to make sure they have all their needs met first.  However I also know that I will not change or can’t change until I put some real true effort into the transformation.  The Fitbit is amazing.  It motivates more than I ever realized it would.  I went the entire month of March gaining first three pounds then coming back down to even it out to a complete wash.  My first week of April wearing the fitbit I lost 2.8 pounds.  I got in all my steps and met every single goal every day from Sunday until Friday when I weighed in.  I just returned from a weekend with the girls Sunday afternoon and I returned refreshed and ready for a new week.  Good friends, and mountain air has a way of doing that to you.  I decided to try two new recipes from my awesome new cookbook called “Oh She Glows” also a great blog to visit. I made her “present” glo bar for this weeks snack.

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chopped and measured my pecans then toasted them up in the oven (giggle..I see a heart in the nuts)

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Measured all my dry ingredients for the barIMG_3886

Rinsed my kale for my salads this week and my smoothies in the a.m.IMG_3889

Is this not the cutest little owl measuring cup?IMG_3892

peeled my banana’s for the smoothiesIMG_3900

Figured it would be much easier to put a majority of the smoothie ingredients in a bag and toss into the freezerIMG_3902

And this morning, let me tell you!  It was so easy to toss this in a blender and just add, almond butter, ice and almond milk.  This is also from the “Oh She Glows” cookbook.  The getting ready part wasn’t a part of it but the awesome recipe part was. IMG_3907

The recipe for the glo bars made 12 bars, my model was more than happy to hold my tray for me, first he only had his underwear on and I figured that wasn’t very appropriate so he ran into to put some real clothes on and we took the picture again. IMG_3912

My salad jars once again are filled up and ready to go.  I know, I know kind of boring the same smoothie breakfast all week, the same glo bar snack, the same salad for lunch but it’s quick, it’s easy and it makes the most sense to my checkbook.  Then for dinner we make whatever comes to mind that’s where I get my variety.  I can tell you the bars and the smoothies are very, very yummy and I can’t wait to try more recipes from the new cookbook which I also highly recommend.  My friend Alice introduced me to this cookbook and the reason I’m most interested in it is because my oldest doesn’t eat chicken, pork or beef and his darling girlfriend is Vegan.  So This mama here wants to be able to cook meals she can share with them too!

April 1st check in – weight loss progress

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Start of April 2014 (No loss)

January 1 2014

Beginning of January

This is embarrassing to report. On March 1st I was supposedly re-energized on this eat healthy move more plan. Well, turns out I actually gained a few pounds then to shed those to be exactly the same as I was the end of February.  Sigh…honestly I want to scream my lungs out, break a window, hit a wall. Funny right? And you thought I was all about peace. I get angry. I do. This is not easy. In fact it’s really hard. I LOVE food! I love food of all kinds, good bad and in between. I love food so much I take pictures of what I eat. I’m all about it. It has to be presented well and taste good. Let me explain something about me. I have this personality flaw…the all or nothing haunting trait. So you see, I was using an app called my fitness pal and I would put in my calories and exercise etc. I was on a streak like 60 days and that was getting me pumped up, I thought “can you imagine if I do this for 100 days in a row?” What an accomplishment that will be!! So I hop on one day and I notice a message that reads, you are on a two day streak. I was like “what the what!” Turns out I had forgot to “complete” an entry one night and it started me all over again. I even tried to go back those few days and complete the entry but it didn’t fix the problem. I was beyond angry. So in my human, stubborn head….you have no idea how stubborn I am. I dig my heels in real deep, have you heard that phrase, “cutting off the nose to spite the face?” That’s me! And hello, who came up with that phrase? It’s just weird but it’s used to describe a needlessly self-destructive over-reaction to a problem. Yep, that’s me and self-destructive is the only thing this is. The app doesn’t care that I stopped using it, no sweat off its brow. I’m basically just hurting myself. Turns out that app does kind of help when it’s used properly. It helps keep me aware of what I’m putting in my body. I have decided April will be better than March and in order to succeed, one must have a plan.

And just like my other prior check-in entries I will fist share some success that I had in March.

I’m not sure how many days I walked (hence not tracking) but I know I walked several times this month.

I drank water and not just water but detox water with lemon, mint and cucumber a few different times

I brought lots of salad in a jar to work for lunch

I kept up my weekend activates with littlest and only girl so our blog can have weekly updates of how we are having fun being healthy with each other. If anything I’m having fun being outside with my girl. And you may take this as being conceited but even though I’m 175 pounds I feel like I look alright. I do get frustrated trying on clothes but I feel like I look like a healthy curvy woman. I’m proud of my curves, that’s one thing for sure. God made me with some curves and sturdy legs but my feet have started to hurt again. They stopped for a little while in February and I guess it just takes going up a pound or two for me to feel the difference in my tiny little feet. This part I want to change the most. If I have been asleep or sitting for any period of time I hobble like an elder when I first get up.

My plan for April will include continued walking, more and more water, salads in a jar for lunch (see, I already made my weekly salads)

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(approx 300 calories in a jar)  the olive oil, balsamic, dried cranberries and pumpkin seeds take up a good majority of the calories but make it yummy to eat.

I also just purchased something called a fitbit flex! I will be logging my calories on to this app now, it doesn’t require me to close out my day, it just keeps track of what I put in there.  It also keeps track of my steps.  My goal is 10,000 a day. It also knows when I wake up in the middle of the night, how many minutes I’m restless etc.  It’s kind of trippy. It’s day two and I’m obsessed (easy for me to do)   I’m NOT QUITING.  Although not much changed in March,  I visually in these photo’s see a difference, my butt isn’t as big. Oh and one last goal for this year and health.  I want to do a head stand, so I need to work on getting my core strong.

Montly weight loss and healthy living style update

weight

March 1st 2014 not a single pound down ….THIS IS SO HARD 174 just like in February

January 1 2014

January 2014 180

It’s  that TIME again!  Time for that once a month update I promised I would give.  Let me first focus on all the good things in regards to February 2014.  Although really great things happened in February, I did not lose a single pound.  I mean at one point I did, there were a couple of days I was down for a total of 8 pounds but it went back up and stayed there.  So no weight loss this month it remains at 6 pounds total lost, and you want to know my real honest true feelings??  I’m discouraged, I’m upset, it sucks.  Yep, those are my true feelings.  I feel like giving up.  But I WILL NOT.  Don’t worry I’m still doing this.  Back to the positive things.

I walked 21 out of 28 days in February, I exceeded my goal!!

I tried the cool salad in a jar trick I saw on Pinterest.  It’s AMAZING!!

I drank plenty of water!

I have logged my calories every day for 58 days in a row on “my fitness pal”

When I have gone out to eat I order water to drink and only eat half my meal.  Because I still order things I love.

Two different gals at Bible study told me I was looking “good”  I’ll take it!

I got a tattoo!

Girl Scout cookies arrived.  I bought 10 boxes this year to support the little troopers I know and well; the thin mints sort of get me.  The rest I can pass on.

Although I didn’t lose a single pound in February, I’m newly energized for the month of March because we just started a pool at work for weight loss.  So we are competing (for money) so that will hopefully get me to think a little harder and longer about what I choose to do each day.

Lastly I will share my goals for March with you.

I plan to walk at least 4 times a week.

Eat breakfast every single day.

I plan to stretch nearly every night because I have a goal to do the splits just like my littlest and only girl.  We have a really cool and exciting blog called “Life in the 7 Cea’s”    In this blog Abbie and I share healthy snacks, and activities we do with each other to lead a healthy lifestyle.  It’s fun because it’s a shared blog with our friends in Australia Cathie and Jess another mother daughter team with the same healthy goals.  It’s so adorable, I hope you will stop by and check it out.