get your green on

Happy St. Patricks Day but more importantly….Happy birthday to my younger and handsome brother Brandon and my Amazing father-n-law who also both were born on this celebratory day!  Turns out I have had this shirt since 2011 and wear it every St. Patrick’s Day, also turns out I wore the same exact earrings today, not planned but shows what a creature of habit I am though;)

I was so greatly touched yesterday by the encouraging comments left on my blog post.  It seems I reach some of you readers out there but I wonder if you know how deeply you touch me.  I can’t tell you how much I appreciate a comment left.  I don’t want to say it’s because I’m insecure and I require cheering but I have found that the way I work best is with positive reinforcement and simply a pat on the back and “job well done” is all I need to keep trucking.  I have always been this way. A few encouraging words go a very long way with me so I have also become somewhat of an encourager myself.  Maybe too much at times….or so my kids think.

Favorite thing I heard today was from Dylan aka Moon Rebel “I want to learn to do a back flip, and I know I can do it because I’m athletic and capable, I just need to commit”  I like it.  He also found a butterfly with a broken wing.  Picked it up then placed it in our garden.

and the very last thing shared today here in this space is the inspiration and free bookcase that was delivered to my driveway by Uncle Don and scouted by Aunt Lynn and if it hadn’t been for my father-n-law knowing I was on the search for a bookcase then it would not have fallen into place so perfectly.  Let’s just say it will include yellow paint…such a very happy color and peacock-blue.  More to come on that later. I hope you will come back to see.

Color makes me happy!

do you believe in yourself?

I have been doing a lot of reading and researching.  I think its part of mid-life. Questioning, where I am, how I got here and what’s in the future for me, for our family. I have been reading Dr. Phil’s book, “Self Matters” I’m in the chapter where he has one thinking about the defining events in your life. We can’t possibly remember every single day but there have been some events in our lives that stand out. I thought of a handful of personal and violating things that have happened in my life. I’m not going to share in this space but I will share the few things that came forward that are good. These events are times in my life where someone believed in me even when I didn’t believe in myself and turns out…they were right about me.

When I was in the first grade I was very shy, a lot like I’m still shy today. I had this teacher that really, really believed in me. She was going to have her class put on a play for their parents and she had to pick a part for all her kids. She chose me, the shyest girl in the class to play the starring roll. I had lines to memorize that my mom helped me with and when the big day came, I shined. I don’t think anyone would ever know I was the most shy, most quiet girl in the class. I don’t even remember being nervous that day. I know I was very young…but I remember. My teacher had full confidence in me.

When I was in high school I took art class. I had the same teacher for art as I had for yearbook staff. I thought it strange but when I was in her art class she would tell me I could do whatever I wanted and I didn’t have to do the class assignments. She said she believed in what I had in my head and what I could do with it. I just thought it was because she liked me. I didn’t pursue my talent in art. I stopped drawing and painting by the time I was 19. But she saw something in me. I will never forget that.

When I was a young married women I went back to college for a time and took a writing class. I love to write. I remember a few weeks in we had a writing assignment. I wrote about Vietnam and I used my father-n-law as my inspiration. My paper was picked and read aloud to the class. She asked the class who they thought wrote the piece. Nobody guessed it was the shy girl with red hair that sat in the back. They all seemed pleasantly surprised and I was noticed that night and received a handful of really nice compliments.

Looking back on some of my inspiring memories, I realize all 3 were TEACHERS who had faith in me. Do we give our teachers the credit they deserve? They shape our lives. Not all teachers are good but some are really great. I’m thankful for these teachers who had faith in me. Now to bottle their faith and make it my own. This is my challenge.

This AND That

I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe I have not blogged since last week. I think it may have something to do with my video making craze. I’m so into making video clips these days it’s all I can think about. I dream of it. Not even joking I literally have dreams of making films. Since I’m talking about it, I will share at the end of this blog my Sunday video. That’s what I have been doing, making a video every single Sunday for 5 weeks straight now. The practice is great but making them slightly different from one another is a little challenge. Of course each Sunday is its own but it will always include my family, eating and just hanging out at our house. I keep them private and you will need a password to watch it. My password for all my Sunday videos is always.     love

Since I have been utterly consumed in video dreamland it has left little time for anything else. However, I must share with you a recent impulse purchase. I got an email from The Paper Source and February is one of my favorite months considering it has so many hearts available for my eyes to see, whelp, the email was about valentine stuff. I saw these most amazing, pretty glasses and I couldn’t resist. Right then and there I clicked PURCHASE. Before I knew it I was typing in my payment information. They arrived today and I have already showed every human being who will look at them. This just means I have to toss our 4 jars to make room in my cupboard. I mean look at them! Great stuff right? Sadly, last time I check they were out of stock, so everyone else and their mom must have thought they were the bees knees too!

I suppose the last thing I have to talk about is the lovely blog I have admired for quite some time now. It’s called Natalie Creates and she shares 20 random acts of kindness that cost 5 dollars and under. It’s worth checking out.

That’s all for now. As if anyone is really reading this besides my mom. Thank you mom, you have always always been my biggest support.  I can’t forget Kate too, she always leaves a little love on my page after she reads my swirling mind nonsense.

sunday dinner

My word.  Balance.  Already I’m taking on so many projects I can’t seem to say NO to.  They are all creative and wonderful projects and I know creatively they will help me to grow, to get better, to learn more.  This is another project.  A personal one along with a group project.  In NOW YOU alumni group some gals have gathered to cook.  We each pick a cookbook, try new recipes and share our results.  Some of us have blogs to share them on some will share on IG and others on Flickr.  I have decided I will try my recipes on Sundays, a good way to end the week….or begin it.  However you look at it.  This is our first Sunday meal of 2015 and I combined it with yet another project.  The year-long time capsule film making class I’m taking with Xanthe.  We used our cookbook that my mom actually bought for my oldest because he too loves to cook.  The cook book is “Barefoot Contessa – Back to the Basics” We kept it very simple and not very complicated at all, similar to how we cook anyways.  Tuscan Lemon Chicken and Pan-Roasted Root Vegetables.  We ended our meal with a family game, chocolate fondu with strawberries.  YUMMY!

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Sunday dinner from Tracie West on Vimeo.

List of creative projects for 2015

Cooking with 52 Weeks of Now You/Sunday Dinners

A Year long Film Making/Time Capsule class

Shooting with Soul with a group of gals and a shared blog

Coloring with Miss Moonspinner

All these projects include film and photography

plus my blog:)

It arrived and not only that….it really is time for CHANGE

My very first MOO order!  What is Moo you might ask?  Well it’s a printing company that makes your things look extra special.  I had no idea the post cards I ordered would be so top notch.  The quality far exceeded my expectations. (and Colleen if you’re reading this, Moo wraps their pretty packages in a purple ribbon) Now I realize why they cost so much?  I had been working on my order for over two months just waiting to have extra money or a deal of some kind.  I finally got 25% off last week and pulled the trigger and even at that they were more money than I thought I should be spending.  But then I had a realization.  How will I get myself out there if I don’t put a little money into this to begin with?  Lilly was telling me that if we get a few little post cards out on art walk night people are more apt to spend a little bit of money on something like that rather than an entire piece of art.  I decided to plug my blog on these post cards as well.  Because for me, more important than the everyday moments inside my four walls in within the perimeter of my yard, and I keep thinking “who would want this as art in their homes or work spaces when it’s just bits and pieces of things I think are important and photo worthy?” So more than getting my photographs out there I enjoy writing and having my photographs accompany my thoughts.  I have always wanted to be a writer since I was young.  I just find writing much easier than talking out loud.  So more than the art I can make with my prints, and now wanting to experiment with wood transfers I want to be able to encourage other gals who are just like me, busy moms who have small breakdowns every so often. All of us moms no matter what stage can encourage and support one another.  The younger moms who I learn from because now days they seem so innovative and far more equipped with tons of information, even more than I had and the older moms who give me their wisdom and assurance that it will all be okay someday.

I also have to stop thinking things that are so negative about me.  That CHANGE word is everywhere right now, my workshop this past week and a HUGE topic last night in my two-hour class.  If I had only an idea it would be my word for next year, it’s no longer an idea, it’s a certainty.  CHANGE is my word, as I’m reminded by Sandi our super cool facilitator, that it will not be overnight, and it will take lots and lots of practice but if I acknowledge I need to change and make steps towards this…it will eventually happen.

No it’s not your eyes, it’s not quite straight, just tilt your head a little;)

VOTE!

I’m cracking up at the pole I posted.  So I have 28 votes, that’s mind blowing to me also that 28 people voted, that’s enough for me only I do need more because as of right now it’s a deadlock.  14 people voted for one thing while 14 others voted for another.  If it stays that way I will have to flip a coin and either way be ready for CHANGE, BEcause both ideas involve change.

Super mom or super tired?

I’m a mom.  I think it’s the biggest most important job I have.  I love my motorcycle man because he helps to remind me of really important things.  You see last night as he cut the raw chicken into strips for fajitas, I chopped the onions and peppers.  I mentioned to him that I skipped tanning.  That sounds strange I’m sure tanning, the red haired freckled Pippi Longstocking look alike tans??  Let me just explain a little about the tanning.  My tanning salon has something called red light treatment; it helps people with a number of conditions, eczema being one of them. So I try my darndest to fit in a session every single day if possible.  It’s not as easy as it sounds.

So he asks me “why?”  (me) “well my sister she left her ipad here and so I had to come straight home and make sure the house was unlocked so she could get in, then while I was here I decided to do the dishes, and clear off the table, and strip our sheets, water the garden and did a quick blog entry.  Before I knew it, it was time to get Dylan  (Let me tell you. I can get stuff done FAST when I put my mind to it, I think it’s a MOM SUPER POWER)  So…then I picked up Dylan, then I picked up Abbie, then I went to the grocery store to get the stuff for our fajita’s and when I got back, I vacuumed and I snuck in an episode of Mad Men and then…well before I knew it, it was time to make dinner……so I didn’t tan today.”   Rich replies, “The tanning place is right next to Fresh and Easy, why didn’t you just take Abbie and go while you were there in the same parking lot?”  (me) “well Abbie hates sitting in the waiting room waiting for me, so I didn’t want to torture her again”  He so quickly could tell me what was going on here.  “You put your sister and your daughter’s needs before your own, like you always do.  Everyone else is always so much more important than you.  It wouldn’t have killed Abbie to sit there for 20 minutes; you could have just opened the slider for your sister and been back on your way.”  He makes it all so black and white and it all makes such perfect sense when he explains it.  I really took a pause for a moment.  This goes hand in hand with the class I’m taking.  I’m (learning) how to change this about me.  It’s not easy, it feels so natural to me to put everyone’s needs in front of my own, isn’t that what we are supposed to do?  This is not easy, this is really hard but I have to change my way of thinking. I’m not aiming to become a SELFISH crazy woman but you know….balance.

This year my word was LOVE.  It’s a powerful packed word that can change the world.  The biggest, strongest word I know but next year I think my word should be CHANGE.  It will take action and courage but that’s what we are here for….. growth.  If we don’t change how can we grow? Reminds me of a really great song by JJ Heller.  And strangest thing….change is our word this week in Now You Workshop.

How many of you have been in this similar dilemma? oh and remember to vote.  I’m keeping voting open for one week.  Just look for the post that is titled VOTE!

It’s okay to be a dreamer

The strangest thing happened last night.  I feel asleep watching t.v. by 9:30, that felt very nice but by midnight I was wide awake.  So I got up.  I scratched and peeled and picked of course because that’s what I have trained my hands to do in times of desperation.  I typically will sit in quiet and journal, talk to God, read His words but this night I decided to turn on the t.v.  I switched the channel to PBS because the title caught my eye “Mind over Medicine” I don’t like medicines very much and I know some of us need them but I don’t like them. So when I see a show about healing without medicine I’m intrigued.  The short story was…. through a serious of questions we can diagnose ourselves, write our own prescription in a sense.  For instance if one is in a toxic relationship, one has the choice to get out, if one has a dream to be an artist, one has the choice to begin to paint or draw and follow that dream, if one has a dream of moving away from the city, one has that choice.  And time and time again there were stories shared of people who followed their hearts direction and their skin allergies, their headaches, their insomnia and even things as severe as cancer were flipped around and the symptoms disappeared.  Scripture can even back up the power of positive thinking.

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Proverbs 17:22 A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

I personally know one of my best friends whose life has dramatically changed in the past few years because of her bravery and her willingness to make change.

My brave desire has more to do with leaving the city, living simply, practicing my photography and even a bigger dream than that would be to contribute to a magazine or even write a book one day.  I hold myself back because fear is a major component, change is another and so I stay quietly where I am because I know it, it’s comfortable. I’m a dreamer, a big dreamer and maybe if I figure out how to follow those dreams because none are too outlandish then maybe I would begin to feel less anxiety and in following my dreams I could glorify my maker, I could share my testimony with others and they too could see that everything really is possible, but not alone for me it’s through Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.   It’s a process, it truly is and sometimes it takes time.  We can’t do it alone and we can’t just sit and do nothing.  It will take action, it will take faith, it will take courage but it’s not out of the question and it’ s not out of reach.