spring and remembering

IMG_2885

I have not had a chance to look into making my blog a dot.org  but in the meantime.  I had a productive spring weekend.  What happened?

I painted a bookcase yellow

A chocolate cake was baked

We found the sweet blue eggs that are waiting to hatch

I planted the wild flowers for Aunt Louise

The yard was mowed

Good food was eaten

A little Laundry was done

Motorcycle man got a ride or two in

The jeep was smogged and tags paid

We listened

We prayed

We lived another day

And this week I hope to share with you, or anyone who cares to see… how the bookcase is coming along.  Totally free, completely useful and motorcycle man said “you made it look pretty” and that made me happy.

Here is my Sunday video.  A little slow and melancholy because it was dedicated to my great Aunt who left us in the fall and today we planted her wild flowers in hopes that they will bloom.  The secret word for my video…..is…..      love

sunrise……sunset

IMG_2126This was our sunrise this morning.  It looked like fire because of the slight fog.  Motorcycle man has a way of bringing sunrises to my attention where I will often bring the sunset to his attention.  He is morning.  I am night.  I received some bad news this morning.  And I felt like this sunrise should be dedicated to my sister-n-law, Cristi.  As I took this picture of the  sunrise I thought of her, I thought of how this sunrise was for her.  Then I remembered the song I used to really love called Sunrise/Sunset by Bright Eyes.  I really, really used to love Conor Oberst so very much and it was all I could do was to just listen to the stack of CD’s I had by him.  I’m getting off track but my point is, sometimes we get bad news and it puts things into perspective.  One begins to think about what’s really important and the mind it can go wild if you let it.   You know you have to sort of reign yourself back in or you could be not even focused on the right now today.   We will take one step at a time and see how this will unfold.  She is strong, she is positive and she has always, always taken such care of everyone else.  Now it’s her turn to be taken care of.

Cristi this fiery sunrise is for you today.  It’s rare and it’s amazing and it’s so strong just like you.  Look how it breaks through the fog and looks like a raging fire.  Before I knew it, it burned off the fog and the morning was bright.

IMG_2128

Day One – Balance

IMG_7272

At the stroke of midnight…the new year started right with a kiss from motorcycle man.

We went to bed shortly after we entered our new year and slept in really, really late.  I couldn’t believe I woke up at 11:00 a.m. but with no big plans or anyplace to be.  It was more than okay.  Sometimes one just needs rest.

IMG_1352

I got in the shower and couldn’t help but notice our Southern California light beaming through the showers window.  I had to grab my camera after the steamy shower.  The light was calling to me so I got dressed and motorcycle man and I went for a drive.  Not much was open but it didn’t stop us from taking a walk around the lake were I found a few feathers.

IMG_7276

We came home, I did a little bunny yoga and made my black-eyed peas and greens.  It’s not so much for the luck and money but more out of tradition.  They just taste good and I only really eat them once a year.  My mom introduced me to black-eyed peas when I was a kid and I liked them immediately.  They are just so cute for one thing.

IMG_1361

That’s about all for my first day in the new year.  I didn’t eat perfect, I didn’t do much of anything perfect but I got out and I’m focusing on the good I did rather than beating myself up over the not so good I did.

us

I sure love that he jumps with me. that he lays on the groud with me and takes my picture in the dirt, that he suggests I climb on top the jeep for my facedown and then gives me a peace sign in his reflection, that he will jump real high and play air guitar, that he is my partner in so many ways, like all the good ways. He is my motorcycle man whom I adore with my whole heart.

IMG_0534 IMG_0535 IMG_0536 IMG_0539 IMG_0544 IMG_0550 IMG_6751And if you scrolled this far you will find out….motorcycle man fixed our plumbing last night after work. He got home crawled under our house and worked on our plumbing for about two hours.  He fixed it!  We got showers last night and we could use the toilet!  He finished the job and he was so filthy dirty and as he was getting ready to take a shower he said “I wish a big tall, icy McDonald’s coke would be sitting right there on the counter when I get out of the shower, just sounds so good right now”  That’s all he had to express, his true desire for a bubbly coke and lets face it, McDonald’s in my book is terrible however they have the best soda’s on the planet.  So when I got back from McDonald’s, this is what I saw…..and he swears this spray paint will peel right off.

IMG_0602

 

wonderland

IMG_6383

This morning I received a wonderful email from Miss Moonspinner and she introduced me to a girl called Mindy Gledhill and in this email she paid me a really big compliment, she said this song reminds her of me, it’s called pocketful of poetry.  Holy wow, that’s a big deal.  It means number one she really, really KNOWS me.  Cause well, I’m in constant wonder? and I’m most happy when I’m writing, poetry, stories, words….just words.  I love words but simple ones not very complicated sophisticated ones.  I’m very simple you know.   I wonder what makes those glow in the dark things, glow in the dark?  How is it bubbles have the most magnificent opalescent rainbows inside?  I wonder how feathers are made perfectly to help those birds to fly?  I wonder how all those men built that big bridge that we faithfully drive  on top of to cross the water?  I’m in constant wonder?  It’s a big joke around here with motorcycle man because since I’m in constant wonder and amazement about things I will often ask him as if he has all the answers.  “Rich how come this?  How come that?  I wonder why they do it that way, do you know why?”  He will laugh and say, he doesn’t know the answers but sometimes he makes things up just to make me giggle.  We are a good team, the pair of us.  So I made up a nick name for the all-knowing motorcycle man, I will from time to time call him BOK and that stands for book of knowledge.  Long story short, I would much rather be writing and making pretty things, and taking pictures and of course hanging out with my family and friends and mostly just playing and having music constantly playing all the time like an enourmous sound track to our life…. but I do know we must work, I suppose we just must.  But I wonder what it would be like to do what I love so it wouldn’t feel like work?  People do it.  I know this to be true but could this be me?  Could I just write words and take pictures of things and make a living?  hum…. I wonder??

 

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PlsS2hdzVSw

 

words . details

IMG_9649

what would a self-portrait class be without a self-portrait.

Before I get to the meat of things.  Which will take much thought and careful consideration.  I want to share what is always dear to me.  I find beauty in the details.  In the little tiny small details that surround me.  One of my most favorite things to do is to slow down.  To look around with intention.  To take in the blessings that have been showered upon us.  They are everywhere and often get missed.  Not on purpose but sometimes people and this means me too get busy and they just don’t notice.  I like to take deep breaths, inhale, exhale, touch, give honor to.  It has not always been this way.  It’s a learned behavior. (not always… because after all we are born with it)  When my babies were little I barely had time for a moment of quiet.  I missed so much.  I mean I documented their moments with video and pictures but so often I just rushed through my days, just trying to make it to the next.  Now the most amazing thing has happened and largely  due to the fact that I have  watched and learned from women wiser who have taught me to embrace to take in each moment as if it could be my last.  And it’s working for me.  It has me thankful and gratitude creates good attitude, this is true.  So below I share some details of my weekend and I send my deepest gratitude to our teachers Kristin and Meredith who put their brilliant heads together and came up with an idea called NOW YOU workshop that has touched the lives of many women now, not just touched but changed and also it has grown real live friendships.  This one single idea.   Ideas change lives, ideas should never stop happening.  You may think it’s all been done before but always always it’s worth trying because as Salvador Dali says “Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing.” it is so true.  later I will share the people, the love, the relationships but now I share the details.

IMG_9523lately it’s been about the blessing of feathers, I will always smile when  they are in my path.

IMG_9520hearts have held that special spot, His calling cards

IMG_9651as I spoke to my little sister about our Aunts quick passing, I was gifted with yet another touch of love.

IMG_9657For me this place has previously only existed in movies and books

IMG_9507I could barely believe this was on my same coast

IMG_9529Even the wood pile was photo worthy

IMG_9517and the mossy streets filled with puddles

IMG_9535the  heart is always in the kitchen.  nourishing meals where made here.

IMG_9519It was gray but I found color

IMG_9531the sandy shoes left at the door caught my attention

IMG_9676

the gift of a notebook couldn’t be more perfect for me, I was jotting notes from the moment we got it.

IMG_9574bits

IMG_9504and again I end with my last self-portrait.  As we were taught.  PROOF…I was there and not just proof of my feet but my face that is changing with each day.

jet plane

IMG_6127

Remember when I talked about being shy and introverted?  I still am but yes, I’m also brave and I can say this with complete confidence.   I’m meeting up with my NOW YOU gals mostly the ones who reside in the PNW.  I live sort of close enough to either take a long drive or a short flight.  I’m taking the short flight because in my heart of hearts I know this is going to be a really great trip and the friendships I have already made via picture sharing and workshops  are deep. Many of us have already bared our souls, we don’t need to cut through the small talk.  We can jump straight in. And I for one have never experienced anything quite like this.  I don’t want to spend too much time imagining how this trip will be, I just want to be there, just be.  Take it all in.  I began to believe I didn’t have very much to offer, I don’t sew, I don’t crochet, I don’t cook amazing however I love.  I just love and I listen and I share my heart and I’m present and with this group it’s good enough to just be me, exactly who I am.  I can learn from the cookers, the bakers, the knitters, the other artists because although I still don’t exactly know my nitche I do know I’m an artist and I do belong in this group. acceptance in spite of our social status, our spiritual beliefs, our political stands.  We all just love.  We all just accept.  We can peel away our differences and see each other for our hearts and our souls. I hope to share pictures and words upon my return and I hope that no matter where we are, that we can gather in groups and just listen and love and create of course, having mini meet ups across the globe and one day maybe we can all gather in one spot.

Don’t stop dreaming.

yep.  tomorrow.  leaving.  on a jet plan.  and this version is pretty amazing in my books.

the truth about feathers

“but. leap i will… day after day, hoping to land in the arms of beauty more often than not.” my friend Angela Hendrix-Petry

How many of you have read “This I Know” by Susannah Conway ? If you have not had a chance to read it, I recommend it. I read it a few years ago now but when I did read it, I remember laying on the grass in my backyard reading her heartfelt words. She had experienced tremendous loss and she began to find feathers. I have another friend who experienced tragic loss of a friend who also began to find feathers after his death. And honestly it was this friend Angela who made me far more aware of feathers than even the book I had read. But you know when you discover something new, your eyes are opened. Then all of a sudden where there were none, there were  many. It’s like hearts. I literally find them everywhere. I can cut open a piece of filet mignon and there will be a heart! I’m not even kidding.

heartsee, yesterday sweeping, a little heart leaf landed in the muck.

So back to the feathers. I began to find feathers after my eyes were opened wide. The point is, they have always been there, it’s just I had never noticed them. I was so busy rushing through life that I just didn’t look down or around. I mean I have always been an observer of life since I’m a quite person. I went back and read journals when my oldest was born 19 years ago and I was writing about my days sitting at the park on my lunch hour explaining to him in my journal what I was seeing and what I was imagining and things like that. But there was a point in my life where I was so busy raising my kids and taking care of the house and bills, working and just going through the process without really appreciating it. So now because of great friends and good books and my constant learning each and every day, I slow down. I look around and it’s amazing how much love is everywhere I look. I have not had a tragedy hit me in regards to my feather finding. I take them as gifts from God, just like the hearts are his calling cards. It’s a physical reminder to me that he is always with me even when I think I’m alone. This is how I relate to hearts and feathers. You may relate them in an entirely different way but if you are seeing them, stopping and noticing then that’s what counts.

feathersthe bouquet of feathers found on yesterdays walk.

This is the bouquet of feathers I found yesterday when I walked for 30 minutes in the park. I even found the piece of string that I tied them up with. I have walked this park for years, lots of times and I had never noticed or picked up a feather. And when I went with the intent to find at least one, I found many. The park does have a pond that is home to many ducks! But you see I had walked around that pond so many times I can’t count and never have I noticed the feathers scattered across the grass. It’s like I looked straight past them. Now it’s all I can see.

summer light

IMG_6420

Yesterday I spent a portion of my day taking picture of the potato vine.  It’s my new obsession because its growing so quickly, it thrives, it’s strong, it’s beautiful and it’s simple.  It has all it needs in that jar of water and with the sun light at the front kitchen window. It may end up being my 1:00 hour picture.  It just may.

I do have more to share.  Lots has been happening since last Wednesday.  But sometimes I just get caught up in what I’m doing and I forget to visit the computer and especially on the weekends.

2 Thessalonians 3:16

Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.

 

I’m not in school anymore, why are there still tests?

IMG_9806

Has anyone read the book by Patti Digh called Life is a Verb? I read it.  It’s been a while though, a long while maybe even two years the way time goes. However there was one chapter and lesson that will pop into my mind every so often.  It’s chapter 4, Inclusion: Be Generous.  In this chapter Patti talks about a homeless man who lived in the woods near her neighborhood.  She will get to a part where her girl spots  him on the street and rolls down the window and begins to enthusiastically wave while saying “hi nice man”  and how in that instant his face changes, human to human contact is made and the girl, she taught a lesson as often they do.  It’s about humanity and treating others as such, making the eye contact, smiling, waving.  It’s a fine line, it really is because as women we have to also be careful.  In this world bad things happen so we are often guarded.

IMG_3199

The strangest part and the reason why I remember this chapter above all other chapters is because nearly right after reading about her story and examples and getting an action assignment to work on for that week, I woke up one morning and our front door was swung wide open, this part is very normal.  Motorcycle man likes to open the front door wide so Max can greet the morning, smell the air, spot some city squirrels and so the front door, it was WIDE open and as I got up from the dining table after sipping my first few sips of coffee and having my quiet time, I walked towards that wide open front door.  Do you know what I saw?

IMG_4021

I’m not making this up, its real in every since of the word real, or at least it was to me,  there was a homeless man standing right in the pathway to my front door, facing my front door even as if he was waiting for me to come.  I think my look must have been that of a deer in headlights, but then I looked at him directly in the eyes and I said “good morning”  and he smiled and his voice was really deep and raspy and he said “good morning” right back!  I think I surprised him as much as he surprised me.  You see, I have never ever seen a homeless man in my very own front yard ever or since. It was just really strange and it felt like a test.  I passed in some ways but in other ways I feel as if I failed. My heart wanted to offer him coffee, invite him in talk about God’s love and things like that but all I did was say “good morning”  I will say, it was real to me, but I also wonder at times if it was an angel or a strong figment of my imagination.  Only I don’t think so really because motorcycle man was right behind me when it all went down and he quickly went into protection mode, “can I help you?”  he said, and the man said “no” and kept right on walking.  It’s one of those things I don’t think I can forget, because it was a true lesson on how to treat others like they are equal, human and loved.  It’s not very hard but then again it is.  I think we are often afraid and rejection is a big factor too.  We should watch our littles, because they have not been tainted by life’s disappointments and disasters quite yet and they are free with their hearts and love.  Even my littlest and only girl will sit in the backseat of my jeep with her cousin and they will wave and shout hello to strangers and they get tickled pink when others wave back and say hello.  So I watch them and try to remember we learn from our children because we forget when we grow old, we forget how important it is to be loving and open.

IMG_9780