I’m thankful for my favorite skirt. Maybe about half the time and sometimes more than once a week, I wear this skirt. I picked it up at Target, this past summer. It cost 19.99 and I believe that 20 bucks was well spent! As you can see by the few pictures I share below. I love this skirt, maybe even too much. Nope, not possible! I love it just perfect! Yep….PERFECT! And now I have a new colorful, amazing sweater don’t be surprised if you see images of this sweater in my day-to-day life. I’m like that. I get something I really love and I wear it and I wear it and I wear it, almost like it’s the only thing that exists. I don’t really care what anyone thinks of my excessive wearing of favorite things because it makes me smile and that’s all that really matters to me. Plus it’s really very comfortable and very versatile as you can see below. I can wear a variety of shoes and with it, tops too. I suppose versatile in my world because matching isn’t exactly top priority for me. If I like it I wear it and it doesn’t even matter if it matches…. just ask my mom about my matching abilities, it goes way back. Is anyone else like that?
It took me a few days to come up with a new plan and turns out…… I didn’t come up with it but my friend Cristin Spriggs gave me the idea when she posted this idea on her FB page! It’s my take on her idea. Her’s is actually much nicer with the word thankful painted on the top and she is rolling papers and sticking them in the chicken wire holes. I didn’t even have to build anything because I just took my garden fence from a few years back and hung it on the wall after just writing a few words in sharpie around the wood edges and unscrewing the hinges. And that was that! Cristin actually also re-used an old garden fence as well. This is one of the three R’s in the Recycle process (re-purposing) I’m thankful for friends who share new ideas. Today it’s that simple.
The Original purpose for our now gratitude board was originally our garden fence from two springs ago.
I took this photo outside in the garden again but it’s now hanging on the wall in the big blue room
Our assignment was to write our facilitator a letter to introduce ourselves as an adult-daughter, a mother and a wife but at the same time I thought those were titles of what I do (sort of) so this is what I wrote;
As you, Sandi read through some of your notes and shared some of your own story, I thought….this is going to be very, very difficult. I may even cry sometimes and this will stretch me and this will help me to grow. After all, I can only be the best version of me. Someone actually said that too this first night. Yep, best version of me. Shy, reserved yet having a big heart and finding the gift of encouragement very easy. I’m a great friend who encourages my friends to follow their dreams, to love and accept themselves, to not be afraid. Yet I myself do not follow my dreams because I’m too afraid and I don’t really accept myself fully. The strongest things I heard on the first night are the K in our THINK acrostic as in “Know this, God LOVES YOU, just as you are” It also made a whole lot of sense the part about how “we teach people how to treat us.” I get that.
I don’t have the gift of talk but I do have the gift of words. I’m a good adult daughter and I do all the right things, even when I don’t want to. I’m a good wife and I do all the right things even when I don’t want to and in both these relationships I withhold information or as you like to use the stronger word lie.
I’m a great mom, I’m fun, I’m adventurous, I’m honest, I’m loving, I encourage them to follow their dreams, I dance with them, I sing with them, I draw with them and I feel like I can be myself 100% completely with these children who love me no matter what. I often think if I could be like this in ALL my relationships I would be so much better off. I wouldn’t harbor anger and resentment I wouldn’t feel hurt, I wouldn’t pick my skin because it’s the only relief I find now a days. I keep it all bottled up inside and I just do what’s right and I’m always pleasing and always accommodating and I like to play the entire court. I’m always a good listener too and if I trust you, I tell you my story. I need to be here. I just do.
Love your new friend and student
I posted this image here at one point but also in a private workshop class and one woman said, notice in the reflection, your legs are smooth. I like the idea of that because I do know this is temporary and there will be an end to it.
And this is just a guess but I’m guessing some of us women feel a whole like I do. Always doing the right thing even when our hearts are not in it. Never really complaining, never expressing our true feelings on a matter for either A) not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings or B) feeling rejected. So we just say what we think they want to hear and do what they want us to do and go about our days. I’m not saying all women, I’m saying some.
I can remember very clearly when I was a teenager, having a blue beach cruiser with no gears of course and living on hills on either side of me. (No wonder I could eat whatever I wanted) So back in the day we liked to ride our friends on our handlebars. I always had to be the one who rode the bike because I didn’t trust anyone to ride me around. I needed that control or else I would be full of anxiety. Even now today I’m a bundle of nerves in a car…unless I’m driving. Sounds so strange that I, miss easy-going, roll with the punches type girl would have these issues, however I do. I have them so much so that it can consume me. I’m not any different from many women out there who wake at 2:00 a.m. with their minds twirling and spinning and clicking forward and backward in time. I believe it’s a common trait in many busy women who like to be in control of their world.
My beach cruiser now a days is orange and black and my passenger is Pablo
When I sat in church on Sunday the sermon wasn’t on control so much but rather living out our faith as opposed to just reciting our faith or believing our faith. To live our faith as the greatest man of all time did. Christ lived what he taught and what he believed. He is our best example of how to fully trust, how to release that control to something bigger. How about the creator of all the universe. Who could be bigger than that? If my one and only God knew me before I was ever born, if he created all the stars in the sky, all the sand of the earth’s beaches and oceans, place rainbows of promise in the sky and be the greatest artist of all time. If I can’t trust Him, who can I trust? He made me human. He gave me a mind to question, he gave me a mind to be defiant because He also loves me that much to give me the free will to choose or not to choose. I find myself often frustrated because in my world I want to be the one in control, I want to ride the bike with my friend on the handlebars. Until I realize I’m not in control I will experience issues of trust and feel this dark heavy fog of anxiety. I always say something like this “It’s that simple and it’s that difficult” because for me that’s how it is. I know logically what I’m supposed to do but I often just don’t do it. I’m working on trust, I’m working on releasing my control. I think it will be a long journey but awareness is the first step and my God, he is a patient God. I wish to live my beliefs but first I need to release my lack of trust and my control. I’m just going to start today by putting one step in front of the other, knowing I will take a few steps back now and then but I’ll get there eventually, I will.
Psalm 139:13-16 (NIV)
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?
I’m guessing if one is a blogger and one has children that one might just blog about their child on their birthday. I have three children. I have two spring babies and just one fall baby and technically I know he is really a summer baby but in my mind the moment it turns September, it’s fall. Right here in Southern California September is up there as one of our hotter months of the year, but let me think what I will think, to me the entire month is fall. He is my fall baby. I have three, I have two A’s and one D. He is the one D. I have three, two righties and one lefty. He is my lefty. I have three, two free spirits and one of great discipline. He, this D, this lefty, this fall baby….he is my one of great discipline. I joke lots saying “I want to be like Dylan when I grow up.” It’s hard not to say because he has all the qualities I do not. I have never had to make him do his homework. He just does. He does what he knows he needs to do, he does what he knows is required. When he was little he shared a room with his big brother. He was the one who desperately wanted his own space. Why? To keep it clean. A few weeks ago he asked if I might get him some cleaning stuff for his face. I did. He tells me yesterday, “I have not missed a day mom, I wash my face twice a day since you got me the stuff” Me, I often forget to take off my make up at night. Are you getting the picture? But this doesn’t mean he is not fun. He is full of fun. He pranks me nearly every day. He video tapes me without me knowing and performs silly off the wall crazy stunts while he is secretly videotaping me to see what reaction I will give. He LOVES a reaction. I would say our most common ground is that we are both dreadfully shy yet completely insane with our behind closed-door behaviors. And the other really, really big thing we share in common. We share the same faith. This common ground creates a bond that cannot be broken. These two very big things help us to get each other even though we are nearly nothing alike.
He began high school yesterday. The class he is the most excited about? Finance. He can’t wait to get into the meat of that class. In fact he already let me know as soon as he gets a job he will save 10% of his earning in a savings each week. He said if he really manages his money just right he can be a millionaire. And if anyone can, it will be him. I believe it’s no mistake he was named after his uncle another well-disciplined, fun-loving, lefty, man of faith who also just happens to know a lot about finances.
He shows me how to do hard things. I learn from this kid. I learn from him. He is a gift to me. It has been an honor to be his mother. A complete honor. Happy Birthday D-man.
Oh yeah and he is athletic. and these days you might find him doing hand stands simply because he can.
or yoga type poses without even realizing it
The birthday part of today is good. He had his birthday breakfast. We are going to his favorite Chinese restaurant tonight and he got that robe he has been wanting (shhhhh, he hasn’t opened his gifts yet) But on a far stranger and sad note. Austin was in his first car accident today. This is how the phone call was received. “Mom?” “Yes Austin” “It happened” “You were in a car accident?” “Yep” And that was that. He is okay, his two friends who were in the car with him are okay and this is good considering he was sitting at a stand still and was hit by a woman going at least 45 miles per hour. He was ready to make a left hand turn, had a panic situation when he realize he started to turn left on a green rather than wait for all the cars to clear, the bug stalled and he basically just braced himself for the hit. He has been a wreck himself the rest of today and is the type of kid who is very hard on himself. I mean Rich and I knew this would happen, it just happens right? At least that’s what I’ve been told. I totalled out my first car when I was about his age. I knew when I took pictures of the pretty new/old bug there would someday be a different story. His world has been rocked, the car shouldn’t be driven at this point. Rich got the bug home but at 30 miles per hour and with lots of crazy noises. The kid is wondering how he will get to work now, how he will see his girlfriend, he is devastated that he has “cost” us even more money you know all those normal thoughts. I hate when things like this happen to people I love. I told him it’s okay, everyone is alive, a lesson will be learned and it will give you problem solving skills, what to do next? Stay tuned. Life, it’s still very, very good. Just one of those things. unfortunately since it happened on Dylan’s birthday we will not be able to forget the date of his first accident. And you see we are a family of celebrations. So we do not celebrate the fact that he crashed his first car, but we celebrate in the fact that he had the wits about him to jump out immediately to see if the person who hit him was alright, that he knew exactly where his insurance card was and that he in his own hand writing got her name, address, phone number, license plate, make model, and drivers license number which happened to be expired and out-of-state but still it was his fault for being the one in turning left. He even sounded calm on our phone call. He kept it together when it mattered the most. The woman even complimented us on our son, She told Rich “you have a good boy here” So this is what we celebrate. The lesson learned.
In the glory days
Her she sits today. even the passenger door got buckled from the impact but I have to say these awesome German-made cars are like mini tanks, could have been far worse and his buddy Kris the one who was sitting up front there, could have had it much worse.
This morning I enjoy the last quiet morning of summer. School starts tomorrow and our mornings will be quite a bit different. At first they will be exciting, everyone aroused and getting ready, wearing their new clothes, packing lunches, eating breakfast. It will be a frenzy of noise and morning movement. Then after time there will be the mornings where the youngest will cry because her hair isn’t just right, or the second born will be silent because really truly he doesn’t like mornings all that much. The first-born his schedule these days revolves around work so mostly there will be one less body getting ready in the mornings. Still it will be nothing like this moment, this quiet moment with my coffee and the distant fan noise behind me. The occasional car zooming by (whoosh) I like to think of that traffic noise as ocean waves. I have become accustomed to it.
Our long weekend was relaxing. We had visitors from our Northern Coast, Oregon. They brought a hand-picked gift of flowers they had collected while on their walk from the Grove to the Museums in Los Angeles. A tiny beautiful bouquet of sweetness. These are my favorite gifts of all. Aus even came by to visit after his work shift and in-between seeing his girl. We sat around the big table, shared a meal and talked. My friend used to own her own bakery up that way and Austin has big dreams of owning his own one day. They talked about really good bread and baking passions. The passion rather than the money. It was a good night and I’m thankful for the visit although it was short.
I also received the most hilarious video this weekend, “Big Green’s Adventures” Rich’s family is pretty funny and while visiting up north they decided to make a video slide show of Big Green’s Adventures and send it our way. They get to see my little red and all his adventures and so let’s just say Big Green blows little red out of the water in all the stuff he does. I plan to share that video later this week when I can figure it out. It had me laughing so hard there were tears and actual talking to the computer screen, well pleading with it in the end!
I read lots this weekend. That book club you know. I took notes, lots of notes and tried to get familiar with each character by writing brief descriptions by each of their names. I had to at times read a paragraph twice to get the full understanding. I learned new words and phrases and all this in only 5 chapters. I have to admit while only five chapters into Emma, I already know I will like it. I’m not exactly sure if I like Emma but I know I like the book.
This morning along with my quiet. I had my farm fresh to you delivery to look forward to. This time there were pears, white peaches, carrots, a nice healthy garlic, sweet peppers, heirloom and tomatoes. I think today’s snack would be good of carrots and humus. Yum.
You see, my heart, it is my faith. There are times when it just doesn’t seem as though things are going quite our way. We struggle like I know so many of us do. And although things are not panning out the way we had envisioned I know there is one thing that can’t be taken from me and that’s my faith. Sometimes it’s very hard to understand why people get sick with cancer, or lose their homes or a loved one. All the really bad things that are unexplainable and often seem very unfair. However the reasons to me are simple. It’s because I can’t do this alone. I have my faith, my Heavenly Father to pick me up and carry me when I don’t feel as if I can walk on my own. This is what works for me. This is how I survive in a world that can be unfair. When I focus on the LOVE He sprinkles virtually everywhere. When I focus on the good, the blessing in each and every day. These gifts, these blessings, they are what keep me focused on Him. The fact that I wake up each day, that one thing is enough to be grateful for, just waking up. If it were only that one thing, still I would be full of gratitude because each day is a blessing, a gift. I got out of bed today. Today is good. I’m reminded of this in Lamentations 3:22 “Because of the Lord’s great LOVE we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. THEY ARE NEW EVERY MORNING.”
Today a little wind has been taken from my sail but in the big scheme of things it’s gonna be okay. My first-born son, the one who drove to Hollywood Monday night, he made it home safe. My husband the one who loves me so much he buys me weird gadgets to help my itchy skin because he wants it to get better as much or more than I do. My garden and the three pumpkin seeds I planted and have shown signs of growth in less than 7 days. The home, this home that I have full of LOVE and shared faith. The friends I have who lift me up and encourage me, they are gifts for my soul. The littlest and only girl we have who leaves me video messages full of love and expression. The second born who is completely silly when he has too much chocolate. My family who stands by me no matter what I have such wonderful parents and this includes my in-laws. These are also my heart. You know I could go on and on and on.
Not sure what sort of time one might have to watch about three minutes of a little movie. Tuesday we felt like watching the sun travel to the other side of our earth, leaving our side to give us night to visit the other side and give it day. We figure the beach is the best place to do this. We brought two extra’s and we had a really peaceful and stress free Tuesday evening. I’m thankful for how Tuesday went, I’m thankful for that big huge sun that keeps things ticking, for the creator who placed it there and knew exactly how perfect the rotation of His earth should be, and perfectly where to place the sun so the earth and all His creation could thrive. Mind blowing really.
Vacation is all over. I wonder why they go by so very fast. We did have a wonderful time though. We wrapped it up with our Sunday at Balboa where the kids went parasailing. We couldn’t go on the boat with them so I only have the shot of them pulling away from the dock. All three went at once with Abbie in the middle and they all came back smiling big and said it was lots of fun. Abbie actually wished the ride could have been longer.
Yesterday back to the grind. I got up early met my pals for our morning workout. I had proclaimed Monday as meatless a few weeks ago so yesterday my oldest, his girl and I went shopping for our dinner. They thought a nice meatless Mexican themed meal would be perfect. Maddy made the salsa homemade and it was full of flavor and if you like spicy, it was for sure spicy and so very good. I made the cowboy caviar or as Joyce calls it Texas caviar (either way…it’s amazing) we used Maddy’s mom’s recipe because this is something they eat on a regular basis and I had no idea in fact I had the hardest time even locating black-eyed peas, I finally asked at the third market where I was told it was a canned vegetable. I was looking in the beans…. I guess I should have known better? They look like a bean to me even though they are called peas. But I suppose they really are peas? I still have no idea. I should though considering my mom sort of raised us on them and also I like to cook up a batch on New Year’s but I start from dry bean…. Or is it dried pea? My pictures were taken in a rush and with my iPhone so I’m a little disappointed in that part but the meal itself was very good. Just good old bean burritos with lots of fresh toppings, lettuce, the homemade salsa, no cheese for the vegans but Dylan and Dad couldn’t have a burrito without it. No meat. Yes! No cheese. No. Don’t mess with their cheese. Austin made homemade guacamole; we had olives and chips to dip into the salsa or the cowboy caviar. I could eat that stuff by the spoonfuls and it’s all pretty good stuff for you.
the cowboy caviar that I will for sure make again and again, thanks Joyce for the suggestion
I’m disappointed in my progress with my healthy lifestyle journey but remember I have a problem with this instant result kind of world. I expect my body to do the same. Patience and persistence. My two big P words to focus on this month. Not giving up. Nope I’m not. My good friends keep reminding me of it being a lifestyle. I have made much better choices with water over soda and sometimes salads with oil and vinegar type dressings but I did eat those fried cookie dough balls at the fair and I have dabbled in some not so righteous food here or there. If I can get healthy and still dabble than it’s not all that bad. Cause I’m not giving up sweets. I’m NOT. I’m just a little stubborn.
52 days ago I was feeling very depressed, tired, not motivated and my jeans were really, really tight. The scale read 179.
37 days ago not long after I wrote the post about being frustrated that my pants were feeling very tight I began a fit camp. This camp motivated me to get MOVING again!!
35 days ago I was evaluated by my health coach. She weighed and measured me, calculated my BMI and boy were my eyes opened WIDE! For instance the one that blew me away the very most was my body age was that of a 59 year old woman. I happen to know women who are 59 that have a body of that of a 30 year old, so I’m not knocking the age, but when I find out my physical body is 16 years older than my actual age, it’s a little freaky. Well, a lot freaky. I found out that my body fat is at 46.8%, that means nearly half my body is fat. I found out that my Body Mass Index is at 30.5 when normal Body Mass Index should be anywhere between 18.5 and 24.9! Um, not only do I need to be moving I need to add healthy eating into the mix. My health coach who happens to be very smart and extremely motivating woman says it’s 80% nutrition and 20% exercise. Oh, gosh. A food lover changing their diet?? Someone who lives for a good piece of chocolate cake?
28 days ago I decide to drink one shake a day using Herbalife products. Filled with all sorts of vitamins and protein. One shake is about 217 calories and is packed with stuff like Vitamin A, C, D, E, B6 and B12, it has calcium, zink, magnesium, iron, potassium, copper, selenium and dietary fiber. Since I normally skip breakfast I thought starting my day with one shake packed with all this stuff would be a good start. Now although having one shake a day was a good start it’s what Herbalife calls the maintenance plan. Being I have a ways to go before I’m in a healthy range, I decided to add two shakes a day and a multi vitamin and something called a cell activator.
So….13 days ago I decide to introduce these two shakes which does include by the way real food. between shakes I’m eating healthy, snacks. I love fruits and veggies and I love to use things out of my own garden. It’s recommended to eat a high protein snack but I eat lots of whole foods, fruits and veggies. Like one ingredient type foods. For example a raw zucchini, I have a ton of it. Or a tomato, half an avocado…sometimes a whole avocado. I try to up my water intake and also drink a tea made by herbalife. When it’s time for dinner I make a healthy dinner or if I’m in the mood I eat In-N-Out or subway or if we are invited to dinner I eat what they prepare for us. I want to be able to live normally and healthily. If I go too extreme it will not last as a lifestyle. My goal is to reach healthy weight and then only have one breakfast shake a day.
In total since I first began my movement which has been exactly 37 days, this is what has changed.
I went from 177.6 to 172.8 that’s 4.8 pounds gone almost 5!
My body age went from 59 years old to 57 years old
My BMI went from 30.5 to 29.8
My chest went down a half an inch
my hips and butt nearly went down a full 3 inches, 2.75 but that’s close enough to 3 for me
my thighs shrank by .25
and my waist also .25
the fat around my organs isn’t so bad to begin with which means for the most part I eat healthy but that too went down one full number.
So this is not leaps and bounds but it has only been a little over a month and so as motorcycle man likes to say, slow and steady, it’s the way to go. I get frustrated a little cause I want bigger and faster results but I’m also the person who runs on the treadmill 20 minutes and gets back on the scale and wonders why it’s not gone down. My health coach tells me to give it at least a full 90 days, that’s when real results will be seen. I’m feeling them now but 60 days from now I will probably see a big difference as well, hopefully I can hold that plank for even longer than a minute by then.
The support within my fitness group keeps me going, the people are so supportive and inspiring themselves. They are also a crack up. My health coach is amazing and fit camp is free, I only pay for the product I consume. I’m excited about my journey. I love where I’m headed. My goals are as follows:
number one, I want to be healthy
number two, I want to heal
number three, I want to be strong
My body will find it’s healthy weight I really don’t care about the number but right now it’s a a way to see the change that’s happening by stepping on the scale every so often.
And btw, I still bake things like homemade Oreo’s, zucchini brownies and pies. I just limit what I get to eat of it. Like one cookie out of the batch, or one brownie. I can’t live without sweets. I have tried.