Loving God, Loving People

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Seek out the message you need to hear most today. Something that reminds you that you are exactly where you are supposed to be and that it is enough.   Note: Sometimes what we need to hear the most, we can stumble on (I love Divine intervention) other times we need to gently remind ourselves with handwritten affirmation. When you’re open to listening, you’ll get the message loud and clear.  Tracey Clark

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We are half way through the fall project and as it is half way through we are to pause, find a message we most need to hear. I thought this would be easy.  I see words everywhere.  I’m a word girl however in the busyness of my week I had a hard time pausing.  I actually had to contact my partner in crime, Christina and ask for an extra day.  When the extra day came and went, I asked for another couple of days and just hoped with all my heart that I would find a “message” in the desert.  We had planned to visit our family in the desert and I thought I may find it there.  I did.  It was in my sister-n-laws bathroom window.  The word FAITH.  it was there.  I snapped a real quick picture and wondered if I might find even more “messages”.  The next day Sarah took us around a nearby desert town to see some sites. We parked and walked around, I saw someone had made a heart of rocks they collected.  I stood inside the heart and thought about how I’m surrounded by LOVE in my life and how if I didn’t live by faith, the faith I have in Christ, I’m not sure where I would be?  It all began to make sense.  Faith and Love are the two words and actions I needed to hear this weekend.  I needed to be reminded of my faith and to recognize that I’m loved.  Deeply loved.  We had a busy week but we had such a wonderful week.  As Friday approached we had a big family dinner at our house, we ate, we laughed and we loved.  We got up the next morning and met up with more family. We had breakfast out, we ate, we laughed and we loved.  We drove out to the desert we hung out with even more family, we ate, we laughed and we loved.  What is important in this life?  For me it is my Faith and it is LOVE, love of family, friends and people.  Loving God, Loving People.  For me this is life, this is living. These are the messages that found me, I wonder what messages found Christina. 

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This morning I received a wonderful email from Miss Moonspinner and she introduced me to a girl called Mindy Gledhill and in this email she paid me a really big compliment, she said this song reminds her of me, it’s called pocketful of poetry.  Holy wow, that’s a big deal.  It means number one she really, really KNOWS me.  Cause well, I’m in constant wonder? and I’m most happy when I’m writing, poetry, stories, words….just words.  I love words but simple ones not very complicated sophisticated ones.  I’m very simple you know.   I wonder what makes those glow in the dark things, glow in the dark?  How is it bubbles have the most magnificent opalescent rainbows inside?  I wonder how feathers are made perfectly to help those birds to fly?  I wonder how all those men built that big bridge that we faithfully drive  on top of to cross the water?  I’m in constant wonder?  It’s a big joke around here with motorcycle man because since I’m in constant wonder and amazement about things I will often ask him as if he has all the answers.  “Rich how come this?  How come that?  I wonder why they do it that way, do you know why?”  He will laugh and say, he doesn’t know the answers but sometimes he makes things up just to make me giggle.  We are a good team, the pair of us.  So I made up a nick name for the all-knowing motorcycle man, I will from time to time call him BOK and that stands for book of knowledge.  Long story short, I would much rather be writing and making pretty things, and taking pictures and of course hanging out with my family and friends and mostly just playing and having music constantly playing all the time like an enourmous sound track to our life…. but I do know we must work, I suppose we just must.  But I wonder what it would be like to do what I love so it wouldn’t feel like work?  People do it.  I know this to be true but could this be me?  Could I just write words and take pictures of things and make a living?  hum…. I wonder??

 

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PlsS2hdzVSw

 

Woman Aware and Choosing

Our assignment was to write our facilitator a letter to introduce ourselves as an adult-daughter, a mother and a wife but at the same time I thought those were titles of what I do (sort of) so this is what I wrote;

As you, Sandi read through some of your notes and shared some of your own story, I thought….this is going to be very, very difficult.  I may even cry sometimes and this will stretch me and this will help me to grow.  After all, I can only be the best version of me.  Someone actually said that too this first night.  Yep, best version of me.  Shy, reserved yet having a big heart and finding the gift of encouragement very easy.  I’m a great friend who encourages my friends to follow their dreams, to love and accept themselves, to not be afraid.  Yet I myself do not follow my dreams because I’m too afraid and I don’t really accept myself fully. The strongest things I heard on the first night are the K in our THINK acrostic  as in “Know this, God LOVES YOU, just as you are” It also made a whole lot of sense the part about how “we teach people how to treat us.” I get that.

honor love respectI don’t have the gift of talk but I do have the gift of words.  I’m a good adult daughter and I do all the right things, even when I don’t want to.  I’m a good wife and I do all the right things even when I don’t want to and in both these relationships I withhold information or as you like to use the stronger word lie.

I’m a great mom, I’m fun, I’m adventurous, I’m honest, I’m loving, I encourage them to follow their dreams, I dance with them, I sing with them, I draw with them and I feel like I can be myself 100% completely with these children who love me no matter what.  I often think if I could be like this in ALL my relationships I would be so much better off. 6940422035_18d70b66f8_bI wouldn’t harbor anger and resentment I wouldn’t feel hurt, I wouldn’t pick my skin because it’s the only relief I find now a days.  I keep it all bottled up inside and I just do what’s right and I’m always pleasing and always accommodating and I like to play the entire court. I’m always a good listener too and if I trust you, I tell you my story.  I need to be here.  I just do.

Love your new friend and student

Tracie West

the real truth

I posted this image here at one point but also in a private workshop class and one woman said, notice in the reflection, your legs are smooth. I like the idea of that because I do know this is temporary and there will be an end to it.

And this is just a guess but I’m guessing some of us women feel a whole like I do.  Always doing the right thing even when our hearts are not in it. Never really complaining, never expressing our true feelings on a matter for either A) not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings or B) feeling rejected.  So we just say what we think they want to hear and do what they want us to do and go about our days.  I’m not saying all women, I’m saying some.